Why my skincare routine "works"

Frivolous or fundamental - it's all in how it feels.

How do you feel about your skin?

If you’re like me, it’s…complicated. As I wrote a few months ago:

Over the past couple of years, every day has seemed to bring some new change to my attention. These changes aren’t always something I can easily define or put my finger on, either - it’s not as simple as “Oh-oh, there’s another wrinkle here!” or “Look, an age spot there!” It’s more vague than that: a general loosening and slackening, a sense that things aren’t quite…where they used to be…that’s hard to put one’s finger on.

In moments of equanimity, I can look at these changes with a certain level of detachment and even a sense of something like nostalgia. Look how my eyelids are doing that thing my dad’s eyelids did! And how my lips are looking more and more like my mother’s in middle age! There’s a pattern faces follow as they age, and there’s something nearly comfortable about watching my face fall obediently along the same lines as its predecessors. Nothing is amiss here, the familiarity of these changes reminds me; I’m just getting older…

…And then there are the other days.

On developing a relationship with my aging face

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While I understand the urge to respond to these complicated feelings with an arsenal of high-performance products and procedures, I’ve personally taken another tack.

Instead of trying to “correct” my skin, I’ve focused on showing it love and care.

I choose natural, gentle products that feel good, smell good, and look nice sitting on my vanity.

I take time with their application and turn the whole process into a little ritual morning and night.

Does this approach work? Well, I think so…but I suppose it depends what you mean by “work.”

Do I look ten years younger than my chronological age (46)? Nope. Is the loose skin thing below my chin more prominent than it was a year ago? Absolutely. Am I developing creases between my eyebrows that don’t seem to want to budge? Yup. So, in that regard, I suppose you could argue that my skincare routine isn’t working.

But…

Does gua sha feel amazing regardless of whether anyone else would ever know if I did it or not? Does my face feel soft and look dewy after I do my routine? Do I benefit from setting aside time a couple of times a day for a quiet ritual? Do I feel a little better— maybe a wee bit more lovely—when I make a point to show my face love?

One. Hundred. Percent.

Sometimes feeling good is the only “result” I need to know whether something is worth doing, and that’s how I feel about my skincare routine.

Frivolous or fundamental — I believe that why you’re doing something often determines its value to you. And I happen to feel better about the face I’m putting out into the world when I take time and care with it every day.

So, for me? Setting aside time (and, yes, budgeting some dollars) to take care of it is completely worth it.

To each their own. I’ve got a few indulgences that might not be your cup of tea (for example, how much time and care I put into my tea!)

But I think little rituals, even the ones that seem frivolous, can actually be important. They can be small ways to show up for ourselves every day, add structure to our lives, and give us moments of connection with ourselves.

Whether it’s a morning walk, an afternoon beverage, a nightly bath, rituals can act as guideposts, adding comforting touches of predictability to our days.

In that way, they totally “work” - even if nobody else can ever tell the difference.

Do you have any “frivolous” rituals that are worthwhile, simply for how they make you feel?