Beautifully written Meagan and so many nuggets of wisdom.
This line really resonated with me: "Things trucked along smoothly for a while, until they didn’t. And then they did, until they didn’t again." This line sums up my son's freshman year of high school this year. It has been hard in ways I did not expect and yes "sometimes it will hurt" (for both of us).
As he finishes his last day of freshman year today your last lines gave me hope. Sometimes its hard to be in the weeds and not see the promise and possibility. I've been trying to see the promise and possibility instead of doom scrolling his life if he doesn't do well on his final exams. So thanks for the reminder of the person he is growing into full of promise and possibility.
I loved the photo of you carrying the screaming child from the family photo. So many of us have been there. During our first "family photo" my 3 year old was in tantrum state over a garish headband she wanted to wear. Our photographer told me to chill. He asked if I'd rather have the perfect image or the perfect memory. I look at that photo now and recall an independent soul exerting her autonomy. She still is today. I love the connection.
"Things trucked along smoothly for a while, until they didn’t. And then they did, until they didn’t again."
For years, I labored under the delusion that someday, if I found the secret sauce, life would be set up perfectly and run smoothly from there on out. My house would be organized, we'd have the perfect system for chores and homework, and it would be smooth sailing until the end of time.
It took me a long time to fully understand that's not how things work. Okay, deep in my bones I knew life is more complicated, but it was - and still is, if I'm being perfectly honest - so tempting to believe there's a magic way to just keep everything working.
This is probably why I find myself drawn to meal prep and housecleaning videos on TikTok. But that might be a topic for another occasion. :D
"For years, I labored under the delusion that someday, if I found the secret sauce, life would be set up perfectly and run smoothly from there on out." I think a LOT of us labor under the same delusion...
Meagan, I'm so happy to have discovered you and your book here! I'm not quite in the empty nest club yet, but I'm soooo close to taking a victory lap with one kid in college and the other about to finish her junior year of high school, so I can see the mirage of a finish line. I am savoring all of these wonderful new moments of freedom and also the last moments of togetherness with my daughter.
I often catch myself feeling like "I'm done, I'm done, what could go wrong now?" But of course, that's the hubris talking, and also the denial and an attempt to avoid the anxiety that will probably always hang around to stick its head up when I'm not expecting it. Your words in this post are so wise and authentic and really got me thinking about how I will meet these moments that lie ahead. Thanks for this.
Rebekah, so nice to "meet" you! I'm still two years out from the club, but my eldest is 11 years older than my youngest, so my parenting off-ramp has been really gradual. I stopped asking myself "What could go wrong now" probably seven years ago because I found that every time I asked that, I got a very rude answer!
I love all the family photos here, Meagan. And I love that I encountered this post & your use of the word "awe" to describe your experience of your now-grown up boys after reading Deborah Farmer Kris's post this morning (about awe)
Beautifully written Meagan and so many nuggets of wisdom.
This line really resonated with me: "Things trucked along smoothly for a while, until they didn’t. And then they did, until they didn’t again." This line sums up my son's freshman year of high school this year. It has been hard in ways I did not expect and yes "sometimes it will hurt" (for both of us).
As he finishes his last day of freshman year today your last lines gave me hope. Sometimes its hard to be in the weeds and not see the promise and possibility. I've been trying to see the promise and possibility instead of doom scrolling his life if he doesn't do well on his final exams. So thanks for the reminder of the person he is growing into full of promise and possibility.
I loved the photo of you carrying the screaming child from the family photo. So many of us have been there. During our first "family photo" my 3 year old was in tantrum state over a garish headband she wanted to wear. Our photographer told me to chill. He asked if I'd rather have the perfect image or the perfect memory. I look at that photo now and recall an independent soul exerting her autonomy. She still is today. I love the connection.
Beautiful.
This really spoke to me:
"Things trucked along smoothly for a while, until they didn’t. And then they did, until they didn’t again."
For years, I labored under the delusion that someday, if I found the secret sauce, life would be set up perfectly and run smoothly from there on out. My house would be organized, we'd have the perfect system for chores and homework, and it would be smooth sailing until the end of time.
It took me a long time to fully understand that's not how things work. Okay, deep in my bones I knew life is more complicated, but it was - and still is, if I'm being perfectly honest - so tempting to believe there's a magic way to just keep everything working.
This is probably why I find myself drawn to meal prep and housecleaning videos on TikTok. But that might be a topic for another occasion. :D
"For years, I labored under the delusion that someday, if I found the secret sauce, life would be set up perfectly and run smoothly from there on out." I think a LOT of us labor under the same delusion...
Meagan, I'm so happy to have discovered you and your book here! I'm not quite in the empty nest club yet, but I'm soooo close to taking a victory lap with one kid in college and the other about to finish her junior year of high school, so I can see the mirage of a finish line. I am savoring all of these wonderful new moments of freedom and also the last moments of togetherness with my daughter.
I often catch myself feeling like "I'm done, I'm done, what could go wrong now?" But of course, that's the hubris talking, and also the denial and an attempt to avoid the anxiety that will probably always hang around to stick its head up when I'm not expecting it. Your words in this post are so wise and authentic and really got me thinking about how I will meet these moments that lie ahead. Thanks for this.
Rebekah, so nice to "meet" you! I'm still two years out from the club, but my eldest is 11 years older than my youngest, so my parenting off-ramp has been really gradual. I stopped asking myself "What could go wrong now" probably seven years ago because I found that every time I asked that, I got a very rude answer!
I love all the family photos here, Meagan. And I love that I encountered this post & your use of the word "awe" to describe your experience of your now-grown up boys after reading Deborah Farmer Kris's post this morning (about awe)
Yes!!!! I was working on this post when I saw Deborah’s go up & was also happy about the theme overlap :)
Great minds . . .